David Coote Reveals Hidden Struggles with Sexuality & Abuse

David Coote sharing his personal struggles with sexuality and past abuse.

Former Premier League referee David Coote has revealed that he hid his sexuality throughout his career, fearing the abuse he might face for being gay. Coote, 42, officiated over 100 top-flight games but chose to keep his personal life private due to the intense pressures of his profession. Speaking in an interview with The Sun, Coote shared the struggles he faced, stating, “I’m gay, and I have struggled with feeling proud of being ‘me’ over a long period.” He explained that enduring unpleasant abuse as a referee made the prospect of revealing his sexuality even more daunting.

Coote admitted that the pressures of his work contributed to the behaviors that ultimately led to his dismissal by the Professional Game Match Officials Limited (PGMOL) in December. Reflecting on the situation, he issued a public apology, taking full responsibility for his actions and acknowledging that his behavior fell below the expected standards. “I am truly sorry for any offense caused by my actions, and for the negative spotlight it put on the game that I love,” Coote said, adding that those moments came during an extremely low period in his life and do not reflect who he is today.

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In the interview, Coote also opened up about his struggles with shame regarding his sexuality, which he revealed to his parents at 21 and to his friends at 25. He described how hiding his emotions and his sexuality as a young referee affected his mental health, calling it a “terrible quality as a human being” despite being advantageous for his work on the field.

Coote’s revelations come as police investigate threats and abuse directed at referee Michael Oliver following a recent Premier League match. Coote shared that he, too, faced death threats during his career, with some threats even directed at his late mother. The situation became so severe that Coote had to install an accelerated response tag at his home to communicate with police in case of emergencies.

The former referee also addressed the events that led to his suspension and eventual sacking. In November, Coote was suspended after a video surfaced on social media in which he made derogatory comments about Liverpool and its former manager, Jurgen Klopp. He apologized for his actions, stating that he “was not sober” when the video was recorded. Shortly after, The Sun published photos allegedly showing Coote using cocaine during the European Championship, leading to further investigations by the Football Association and UEFA.

Coote expressed deep regret over the incident, admitting that he had been in an “incredibly dark place” and struggled with the pressure of officiating a demanding schedule, which included more than 90 games worldwide in one season. He revealed that his struggles were compounded by the sudden death of his mother and his uncle’s diagnosis of motor neuron disease in 2023.

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Reflecting on the infamous video, Coote said he does not recognize the person he was at the time but has since undergone therapy to overcome his drug habit. “I’m guilty of what I did, but I’m trying to be the best person I can be now,” he stated. He urged others in similar situations to seek help, emphasizing the importance of opening up rather than bottling emotions, which he believes led to his destructive behavior.

Despite the challenges, Coote is determined to move forward and focus on his physical and mental well-being. He hopes his story can illuminate others to seek support and embrace their true selves, even in adversity.